Lovin and Livin
This is a place for me to just be me… (All content Copyrighted Yeve Eeffoc 2008, 2009)Archive for July, 2008
Prayers and Lots of ‘Em
Oh tomorrow morning we are heading to court. We don’t actually get to go in front of a judge though – he is busy so we will be in front of a referee.
This time unlike other times though – we will be in front of one because we are both asking for much different things and neither of us will budge.
I can’t wait for us to go through the custody evaluation! I just want this to be over.
I want to be divorced. I want to be able to marry Jack. I want to be able to move on with my life!
So if you happen to read this – please, please, please pray….
- Pray for wisdom of the referee
- Pray for wisdom on my part
- Pray for the smoke screen that has been up to be taken down
- Pray for God to lead this court down the road that is best for my baby boy; even if it isn’t me
Randy Pausch
Maybe you know and maybe you don’t know about this story but I had seen bits and pieces on ABC. This man has moved many. He has changed a lot of lives.
Life has been crazy for me lately and a lot of times I sit back and wonder what can be done. Then the Serenity Prayer comes to mind.
This man who has changed a lot of lives passed away this past Friday. My prayers are with his family.
This is a longer video (76 minutes) but if you have time – watch…
Proud of Myself…
For the 1st time this past week on Friday I was actually proud of myself. I freaked out for a few moments but got over it, prayed, got some guts, stuck to my guns and stood up to the big bad wolf!
I didn’t shake, I was freaking out, I was well in control and never flinched! I told the big bad wolf how it was and that was that.
I have taken things into my own hands and I am dealing with things on my own with court documentation!
We go to court this Friday. Of course we are not going to be in front of the Judge – we will be in front of a referee so who knows what will actually happen.
Good Men…
Recently I was talking with a friend. It was a friend I had not spoken to in a while and I have missed talking with her.
You know I suffer from Rosacea and I hate going in public. I don’t like going to the store. I don’t like seeing friends. I don’t like going anywhere really; especially when I have a huge flare up. My flare ups are caused by stress – stress from money issues, divorce issues, children issues, – just about anything that would cause stress does and my face shows it.
I don’t enjoy looking at myself in the mirror either. I hate the way I look.
Yet each day – I am called “hot stuff” and “sexy” and “lover” and all these things that should make me feel great. It is different for me because those are not things I have been called in the past.
For a long time I was told, “I am not attracted to you.” and “Your really overweight and I don’t want you” and many other things like that. So even though for the past year I have heard these positive things – those negative things along with how I look stay with me.
When do you move past the past? When do you stop believing the negative of someone who was abusive and believe the positive of someone who is not?
I have a really good man. My girlfriend has a really good husband. Yet we struggle with believing what they say… Is it going to get easier some day? I hope so…
Brain Fog
The past few days have been hectic to say the least. I have meant to get on here a few times and write to try and clear the fog but it has not happened yet.
Honestly I am not even sure what I wrote about last or what was the last update I gave on my insanity that is my life.
Last week Thursday I got a motion in the mail. It I thought was going to be very disturbing from what my lawyer has said but really it was not. It was pretty much the same stuff that he had motioned for before; 50 percent custody and not being able to remove my son from the school district he was in last year; even though we have moved out of it for financial reasons.
So I had to go in on Monday to work with my lawyer on a rebuttal to the motion. Oh yeah.
Honestly I feel as if this will never be done.
We are moving into the custody evaluation phase. I need to get some things together for it. I have been working on it.
The bad thing is – this whole divorce, custody issue takes up so much of my time that my kids are missing out on me. I hate it and can’t wait for it to be over really.
Today is Jack’s birthday and the day has been a strained one. Don’t really want to get into the why’s or how’s but it has been. I know that birthdays are just another day but somehow I wish I could make birthdays special and not straining and draining.
Have so much more to write but have a child who wants to use the computer before dinner is done. So off I go for now…
P.S. – Does anyone remember all my old blogs and what the URL’s were? I am in need of them – if you remember them please send me a note so I can get them from you. Please don’t post them here as a comment unless you make it private though! Thanks!
The Court System
Okay so I have been involved with the court system for a while now.
First there was friend of the court; which in this state deals with child support, visitation, etc.
Then there was the stuff my oldest son was going through. Never really in the court system but had to visit people whom were. Not fun for me one bit.
Now we have the divorce issue and more friend of the court issues.
Our court systems fail a lot of people. Back in 1994 my ex (soon-to-be) was arrested for domestic violence. He was in a different state and was granted permission to move as long as he paid a fine, went through anger counseling, registered with the police station here, was on probation and seems like I am missing something – oh send all the paperwork back to the courts. It was then change and the fine was removed due to subsection H and he had to do more hours for anger counseling.
The paperwork has all his writing on it, his initials with a circle around them (he still does this on current court documents when he makes changes) and then he never did any of it.
He had a warrant out for his arrest for 3 years and then due to Statue of Limitations it was all dismissed.
Now currently he changes court documents (and believe it or not both of the lawyers never catch it until after it has been filed because they just sign and go), go against counsels advice, gets away with whatever he wants it seems and nothing is done.
How can one person get away with so much?
Our courts fail a lot of us. Those people who are master manipulators always seem to get away with it all. Those people who are master controllers always seem to get away with it all.
I sit back and follow all the rules, do everything that is asked of me and what do I have to show for it? I have 17 months of misery with a divorce that really is just about at the same spot we started 17 months ago. I have 23 months of trying to do what is right for my youngest son. I have a face that looks so bad I hate going out in public. I have a son whom hates me because of the things his dad says; even though his dad swears up and down he never says anything to him. I have an ex (soon-to-be) who thinks he is above the law.
I kind of have to laugh at that part because he is telling me in email after email I can’t change our visitation schedule without a judges signature but then two sentences later he tells me he is keeping my youngest son until all his time is made up. Wouldn’t that be changing the visitation schedule without a judges order? Dumbass! (on a note – we have no visitation schedule so I get to make up the schedule even if he doesn’t agree with it; but he doesn’t agree with that fact so he does as he wishes)
How can the courts fail some people so badly? Can anyone explain this to me?
Seriously can anyone explain how a person who is violent gets charged and then has it dropped all because he refused to stay in the state, moves home and then refuses to do the stuff?
Gosh this stuff just irks me at times!
Do You Believe in Luck?
My 9 year old son has a new thing he thinks he believes in – Karma. I don’t really believe in karma so much because if karma really existed I think karma would have caught up to a certain person in my life by now.
I don’t really believe in luck either because if I had to believe in luck and what it really means – I would be by far the unluckiest person in the world!
Anyway – life has been hectic around here.
I switched the visitation schedule and that raised hell. I think I addressed that already though. Here is the fun part about that though – he thinks he is soooooooo smart and yet he is sooooooooo dumb. I am actually for the first time getting a laugh out of this! It is hard for me to imagine me laughing at the current situation but right now – I am.
He thinks he is so smooth and knows it all and yet he is the most ignorant man in the world and it is awesome to watch!
So he calls the friend of the court and tells them who knows what but he never mentioned the fact that there isn’t a court ordered visitation schedule. They tell him I have no right to change the schedule unless a judge signs an order. Okay so I think I know what he said to them, “Long standing parenting time agreement”. Doesn’t that indicate that I agree with the parenting time situation cause I don’t! Oh and since I found out it is up to me to make the schedule – I guess I get to make it what I like now!
Okay well every time I call there I get the same answer from them – no court order and the custodial parent makes the schedule and can change it at anytime for any reason.
So basically he is trying to manipulate the system to work in his favor but it can’t because there isn’t a court order. I am on cloud nine about this one! I actually sent him a message letting him know I felt sorry for him and gave him the correct information to ask the friend of the court. Now whether he does or not is another story. At the same time – I really don’t care if he does or does not.
My baby puddles broke her shoulder. I feel so bad for her. Took her to the vet yesterday morning. They did x rays and all the fun stuff. Told us it was broken and that she needs to see an orthopedic surgeon. So this morning we went to an ortho surgeon for puddles. It is a freak thing that he sees maybe once every 5 years or so. He said because of her size it may or may not help her. It is a 50/50 chance that if we do the surgery she will be 100%. So we opted out of doing the surgery for her. No need putting her through all that pain (they have to break another bone to fix the broken one, they have to cut the growth plate so it might stunt the growth in her humorous, and she might not get the use of her bicep back anyway) when if we do nothing we are probably going to get the same results. He said if it was his dog he would do the same thing. Now if it was a lab or rot he would say they need it because there is no way their body could support all their weight without attempting to fix it but because she is so small she will be okay.
We go back in two months to have it rechecked to make sure it is healing properly and then he might have to do surgery to remove the fragment and the muscle. He did say though that he might have to do that even if we did surgery later on down the road as well.
I don’t know if it is the right choice not giving it the chance to be 100% but since there isn’t a guarantee that she would be 100% I can’t see putting her in all that pain…
On top of everything else going on – we are now searching for another job for Jack.
Life is good.
Desperately Seeking Suggestions
How do you track someone down who doesn’t really seem to want to be found?
Right or Wrong
What if you know someone is doing something they should not do. What do you do?
Do you let it go? Do you tell the employer?
The bigger part of it is – what do you do if it is your ex’s girlfriend whom used to be your friend?
Then it just gets muddy I know.
She did it before for me – I went to someone else and paid for what she didn’t charge me for. So the question is – what do you do?
Morally I feel like I should tell them but then is it just for spite?
Red Dye
So yesterday we had an appointment for the youngest boy. He is now on meds; hoping it helps with some of the issues we are dealing with currently.
He has had issues though with Red Dye for a long time. As long as I can remember actually. It is not something that happens each and every time he has red dye but for the most part – it happens when he has red dye.
He gets welts/hives.
Anyway – the doctor we saw yesterday told me that most red dyes are mainly juice from beetles. So he maybe reacting to the juice from the beetle.
YUCK!
