Well I have not believed in much lately.  My faith has been rocked to the core and I know logically that is when we should cling to the Lord.  When we hit rock bottom; we should be reaching out to Him.  That is when we should be calling out to Him.  Yet that is when most turn away from Him.

I personally have been turning away from Him for a while.  I believe in Him.  Yet trusting Him was completely different.  I wanted to believe I trusted but deep down, I wasn’t following His will.

I would pray and pray and pray and trust and trust and trust and follow through with what He wanted me to do to a certain point and then freak out and stop.  I was too afraid of rocking the boat, too afraid that I would be alone, too afraid of losing my baby, too afraid of PEOPLE!

Yeah – I was too afraid of people, which is the wrong person to be afraid of!  I should have been to afraid of Him and what would happen if I didn’t follow His will for my life!

Now as most of you know I did follow His will with addressing someone.  I had no idea why He wanted me to do it but I did it.  I followed His will; which was hard!

Now this week for whatever reason our dog thought it would be great to go potty on one of the boys beds.  I was furious and had to clean the mattress.  So the mattress came into the kitchen, the steam cleaner came out and as I began cleaning – I got even more furious because the darn mattress was ripping!  Which meant we were going to have to buy the boys new mattresses.  I know you are going, “Boys?  Why would you need to buy both of them mattresses when only one was ripping?”  Welll the answer is simple really – my baby’s mattress was in better shape than my older son’s mattress by far and so I knew if his was ripping – I really needed two.

****Sigh****

Well the plan really was in my head – this was something we would do on Sunday.  My baby would not be home yet, my oldest could stay home and we would just have my baby monkey to deal with while there.  At least that was my plan in my head while I was telling Jack we were going to have to use my Art Van card to buy some mattresses.

Then yesterday morning I decided maybe we should go yesterday because it was Jack’s day off.  He was showering and I asked him if he wanted to go Thursday since he was only going in for part of the day?  He said sure.  So instead of going on the weekend we were slated to go when he got out of work.

I went to a girlfriends to help her with her final exam.  She found out two days ago she had to write up a mock speech instead of a fill in the blank test like her mid-term was.  So I headed out there to help her.  On the way home Jack said lets just meet at Art Van; so away we went!

Art Van now has this cool thing called a Kid’s Castle so that while parents are shoping they can play.  We went to drop Adam off in there and there was no one there.  An employee who does not work in there but was a sales person came into the castle and called a castle worker in.  The women who came in to help is who ended up helping us.

After we ordered everything, Jack, my baby boy and my baby monkey headed home while I finished up the paperwork.  The employee and I started to talk.

Oh my gosh – our lives are pretty darn identical!  She is going through a divorce that isn’t final because of the ex as well.  She was in an abusive and controlling relationship.  She was going through custody issues.  She has actually read the book, “Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.” (side note she is the 1st person who has actually asked me if I have read it; normally it is me who tells people about that book!).  She has met an amazing man and finally has a normal relationship; which she never had until now.  She told me she would pray.  She invited me to her church.  She invited me to a support group for women dealing with the same issues.  She gave me her cell number and told me to call her to let her know how it goes on Monday and Wednesday!

I was meant to go to Art Van for more than just mattresses.  I was meant to go to Art Van to met her.

What an amazing women!  She is going to be a great support system.

Who would have though that after following His will – He would place someone like that in my life – by using my dog?!