This past week we were supposed to get a message across. I had a few ideas in my head for what I wanted to do.

The two items I picked were, “It’s A Small World” and “This Is The End”.

I had ideas in my head for both of those when I decided upon them. Really at first I kind of freaked out at this one. Oh my gosh I have to convey a message. Communicate a concept. Yikes!

In the end though it was fun. Here are some of the photos I ended up taking.

This is no where near all of the photographs I took for the week. I believe when I finally started to download them I ended up with over 100 photographs I downloaded to the computer.

It was fun to try and attempt to get a message across.

This weekend I did a bit of movie watching. I will watch movies that are on TV if it is something I am interested in but I really don’t watch  many newer movies.

This weekend it was different though. Friday night I watched two and Saturday I saw another one.

So the first movie I watched was called “The Ugly Truth”. It was a funny movie but a very crude movie. I needed a laugh and at times this did provide just that. There really was not nudity in the movie. There were people dressed in some skimpy clothing. For me I struggle with certain things. I struggle with movies that have sex in them or the implication of sexual situations. They embarrass me. That is okay because it means that things I should not be seeing give me red flags. Overall for a person who does not struggle with anything – it was a light hearted movie. Anyway this movie is about a man and woman. Abby is the producer and they invite this man Mike on the show. He is very blunt with how he perceives men and women and how they interact. Overall I would watch it again though if I needed a pick me up.

The second movie was called “My Sisters Keeper”. This movie was heart-wrenching. It is about a family who has a daughter who has cancer. They have two children when they find out their daughter has cancer. They create another child to be a donor child; so to speak; for their daughter who has cancer. The daughter who was created ends up suing her parents for the medical rights to her body. The movie is a combination between the present time and what they are going through and the flashbacks that lead up to how they got to this point. It is a cry baby movie (as in you cry like a baby) the whole way through. There are moving parts throughout the whole things. I would highly recommend anyone seeing it. Even my oldest monkey liked it and cried.

The third movie was called “The Blind Side”. All I can say is oh my gosh! Football fan or not this is a must see movie! It was seriously amazing. It is about a family that takes in a boy. He is big. He is without anyone who really loves him. He is quiet. He is polite. He is grateful. He would have been a statistic if this family had not made him a part of their family. It is an amazing movie for anyone to see. Talk about a Christian heart and Christian virtues. This is a movie that will be purchased and watched over and over. I think the best thing was that this is based on a true story.

Well this weeks homework assignment was about color. I am still not totally finished with it but I wanted to post some of the photos I took today.

The two younger monkeys and I went on a walk. It was a much longer walk than what I thought it was going to be and I really was not in the appropriate clothing for it. Well more like appropriate shoes for it.

I am not sure what I was thinking when I left the house this AM to go on this adventure with the children but I left the house in crocs. Now for starters I hate crocs but they are really comfy to wear. I broke down and got a pair. I think they are ugly and all these people who wear them I thought were nuts. Then I put a pair on. They are still so ugly but they are so comfy.

So we head to the park that isn’t to far from our house. It is a huge lake and has trails that go throughout the park. It has boardwalks, a rest room, paths.

We decided to go on the blue path because it went around the whole lake and as we were progressing it appeared to be the only one that was handicap accessible. I didn’t really need a path that was handicap accessible but I did need a path that I could take the stroller on! Well I told the middle monkey if any of the path was flooded any place we would just turn around. Didn’t figure it would happen and we were lucky enough that it never did.

We were about 1/4 of the way through and we found a tree that a beaver had been chewing on. I have seen beavers. I have seen beaver dams but I had never seen a tree that was in the middle of the process of being cut down. It was really cool. Then as we were going along the rest of the paths we saw a ton more trees that either were in the process of being cut down by beavers or some that had already been cut down. We truly were amazed at how big some of these trees were! It was a really neat thing to be able to share with the monkeys. The middle monkey was so amazed by the fact that a lot of the wood chips at the bottom of the tree were still moist. So he was then looking out into the water to see if he could see an actual beaver. He had never seen a beaver before so that was his next goal for the day. We found a tree a beaver had been chewing on. We found 3 beaver dams. Now all he needed was to find a beaver. We never did see one but he thinks he did. Which means he wanted to see one so badly that he thought he saw it. Which was kind of cool because it was like this whole learning thing today on top of exercise thing and my school thing.

It was about another 1/2 of a mile (it was a 2 mile walk total) and all of a sudden the blue path was no longer handicap accessible. I looked at the middle monkey and said we are going to try it anyway. If it starts to get to hard or to narrow or whatever makes it not handicap accessible we will turn around and go back the way we came from.

Oh my gosh. This was the longest two mile walk I have ever taken in my life. I mean I know I am fat. I know I am not in shape (well not true – I am in a shape – round). Still though we were going up hills that had roots sticking out of the ground. We were going down hills that were steep. All of this with me pushing the stroller up these hills and then controlling them down the hills. Of course this is in the woods and so because it is fall here there are no leaves on the trees anymore so where does that put them?! You guessed right – on the ground, covering the path, covering the roots and making it extremely difficult to walk in the stupid crocs I decided to wear on this wonderful day!

After we finally made it around the whole lake and back to the parking lot. I realized that my settings on my camera were wrong. I was playing with it earlier trying to figure out my white balance and how to do custom settings since that is another assignment due before the week is over and I never set it back to auto which is what it needs to be for this class.

So after jack in the box got home from work we headed out again to find even more opportunities for me to take a photo or two.

It was a full day. It was a fun day. Hope you enjoy some of my photos.

I am addicted to The Biggest Loser. Each season one of the trainers say something that hits home to me. Each season I find a person who I just want to see succeed (how can you watch that show and NOT have a favorite is my real question!?).

This season Jillian said to a contestant after she walked out of the gym, “You didn’t walk out on me, you walked out on yourself.” There was a lot more to it but what she was getting at was when she gave up she wasn’t affecting Jillian’s life she was affecting her own life.

My oldest monkey can’t wait to turn 17 so he can drop out of school. I used to freak out on him. Of course that really does not help. He knows what he is saying is getting to me and that is what he wants. He wants to get under my skin.

So this week when he said he wanted to drop out of school I took a different approach. I told him he could drop out if he wanted to because what he does to himself does not affect my future. I explained not having a diploma was not going to affect my income, my residence, my life, my schooling, my job. It would affect him and his job, and residence and life.

I told him he was free to do what he wanted to do. I told him I went down that road long ago and found out that it didn’t benefit me and I have tried to share that with you but you have no desire to hear or listen what is being said. I told him if he felt that is what he needed to do that he was more than welcome to do it but he had better be ready to face the consequences.

At 17 if he drops out of school he will need to be working if he is living here still. I told him he would have a hard time finding a full time job at 17 since technically he was still supposed to be in school.

We talked about the fact that until Kyle realizes that him not doing his work, him not getting to class on time, him not caring does not hurt a sole but himself – nothing anyone does to try and help is going to work. I told him he has to want to do all of these things for himself. He has to want all of this for himself. Because no matter how much I want him to succeed in life if he has no desire to it isn’t going to happen.

I think the fact I told him he could do what he wanted because dropping out of school did not affect my future through him for a loop. Hopefully that loop makes him does a circle so he can actually see what he is doing sooner than later.

I was tagged by Glummum…..I never do these, but I thought, why not.  No one out there knows who I am anyway…..besides, I should be working on school work but don’t really feel like it.

1. Where is your cell phone?   Right next to the computer

2. Your hair? Brown, Natural Curly, Falling Out and Really Messy Currently

3. Your mother? Very Negative

5. Your favorite food? Salad

6. Your dream last night? Not Remembered

7. Your favorite drink? Water

8. Your dream/goal? I have a lot right now and I have never felt that way so I am going to list more than one. Court to be finished, To own my own photography studio, To finish school, To mend the relationship with my son, to marry the love of my life, to have another child, to own my own home.

9. What room are you in? Kitchen

10. Your hobby? Photography

11. Your fear? Ummmm – no clue currently

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Anywhere but where I currently am

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Organized

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? More photography stuff, lens, lights, computer/monitors, etc.

17. Where did you grow up? In a small town

18. Last thing you did? Thought about going and scolding my son but never did

19. What are you wearing? T-shirt and running pants

20. Your TV? On

21. Your pets? 2 Puppies – one big and one medium

22. Friends? A couple

23. Your life? The best it has been in ummm – ever

24. Your mood? Flat

25. Missing someone? Best Friend

26. Vehicle? Mini-Van

27. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes

28. Your favorite store? One with great deals

29. Your favorite color? Green and Purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? About 15 minutes ago

31. Last time you cried? November

32. Your best friend? Moved away to make me miserable. Okay so it really was not about me but I like to pretend it is.

33. One place that I go to over and over? Meijer

34. One person who emails me regularly? School

35. Favorite place to eat? Don’t really have one anymore

I’m supposed to tag 6 people now.  But since I don’t have 6 readers, I’ll tag Panther and anyone else who falls upon this sad little place and wants to do this!  But only if you want to do it…..

This has made its way around the internet. I have seen it all over but I wanted to post it on my blog anyway.

I found the information I am posting below on Snopes.

Noah Biorkman is a 5-year-old boy who was diagnosed with Stage IV neuroblastoma in February 2007. Although he went into remission in August 2007, his family says, in September 2008 Noah “relapsed with lesions in his right arm and right leg,” and “after going through six different trials, the cancer continues to spread.”

If you click on my link you can read the whole article.

Noah won’t make it to Christmas this year and so his family is celebrating Christmas early in his house. All he wants is Christmas cards.

If you can help the address is:

You can view a news report by clicking HERE.

You can get updates on Noah by clicking HERE.

PLEASE IF YOU ARE IN MICHIGAN DO NOT GO TO SEE THIS LITTLE BOY. RESPECT HIM AND HIS FAMILY. THEY HAVE VERY LITTLE TIME LEFT AND HE IS NOT ON DISPLAY.

If you can help by sending a card bless you! If you can help by praying bless you!

To all of you who have served or are serving – Happy Veterans Day!

Thank you for all you have done for me.

I go to Women’s Bible Study on Wednesday. I always feel so good when I leave there. Listening to other women talk about God and their relationship with Him. It is so revitalizing to me.

I don’t spend enough time with Him. I really want to get back to reading my Bible daily and having my quiet time. I am not sure when I would do that but I would like to.

We are reading a really good book currently. Honestly there has not been a book I have not liked but this book really speaks to me. It is called, “Having a Mary Spirit” by Joanna Weaver.

Now I have never liked writing in books. There are so many things I would love to highlight in the book but I struggle with marking up a book. I was raised that you just don’t do that to books. Maybe it goes all the way back to childhood – okay now I am just way over-analyzing this.

I look at all these other women and their books. They have highlighter, pen, red marks, stars and whatever noting things. It just amazes me really!

Today though was a very interesting day. We were really talking about sin. Well a lot of our Bible study’s have to do with sin actually and how to be a better person. But while listening to them today this meant so much (from page 129):

Perhaps the most important step we can take in guarding our hearts is to allow God to establish boundaries and border in our lives: deciding ahead of time what we’ll allow ourselves to see, hear and do.

For when we allow God to help us establish personal convictions based not on popular opinion or what everyone else is doing but on His Word, we will not only begin to think biblically, but we will also live biblically.

I am who I am because of the choices I have made in my life. I am who I am because of the consequences I have had to pay for the wrong choices. I am who I am because along the way I decided God was to be in my life.

I still make bad choices but with His grace I will be okay. I ask for forgiveness and attempt to not do it again. There are times though that I know sin is sin and I ask for forgiveness and yet I do it again. I have struggled with that there for a long time. Because I was always taught when you ask for forgiveness since you know something is wrong – you don’t do it again. That isn’t how it works though – sometimes it isn’t just something you can ask forgiveness for and then never do again!

We all sin and the thing is God does know how many times we are going to do that sin. I probably have written this before but I kind of see Him making off this list of how many times I will do it and Him counting down to the point when I don’t do it anymore.

God is good. He sent His son to this world for me. The cross was put there for me. He sacrificed His only son for me! Wow.

I want to live for Him. I want to be Christian and I want to live for Him because of the love I have for Him.

Wednesdays are a good day.

We have a new court date. It is in January. Happy about that but sad at realizing that it is still going on!

Here is a brief time-line for what has gone on.

August 2006 I left and took the two older monkeys (at that time that was all the monkey’s I had) and went to a women’s shelter.

In September 2006 I started therapy and allowing the will be ex to see the middle monkey.

In October 2006 I stopped therapy with the will be ex because I was moving into an apartment and was unable to afford therapy with the will be ex and the rent, food, gas, and all the bills.

In November 2006 I moved into my apartment and was still working on making the marriage work but was very doubtful of it was going anywhere.

In December 2006 I asked the will be ex for financial help. He went me an email back telling me he didn’t have time to talk about it or think about it and that he really didn’t have the money to do it but he would get back to me when he could. Two days after I got this email a friend called me telling me that she had seen my will be ex buying a motocross bike. I decided to find a lawyer and file for divorce.

In January 2007 I filed for divorce. When he was served he started to call my phone. Called over 100 times in less than 24 hours. He called off working on the marriage as long as I was filing for divorce because he couldn’t possible make a marriage work if I was filing for divorce.

In January 2007 I met jack in the box. We started to talk and became friends.

In February 2007 I lost my job and had a blood clot. The will be ex decided to try and help me by keeping the middle monkey until Monday mornings. He refused to go back to what we were doing.

In March 2007 I was told by the will be ex that he had an illness that would kill him. I decided I really needed to give it another try. He was dying and I felt really bad for him. I was talking with jack in the box and he agreed. About 2 weeks after I had the talk with the will be ex and jack in the box my grandpa died. Jack in the box and I ended up conceiving my youngest monkey.

In April 2007 my cousin died and I found out I was pregnant. I told my family and that didn’t go over really well (actually I was pretty much ignored by my family the whole pregnancy). I also told jack in the box.

In May 2007 came a new lawyer for my will be ex. That was not a ton of fun. Court started again with the new lawyer. It was like we had never even been there prior to that point.

In June 2007 the will be ex called me crying and upset and begging me to try to make it work. I told him I was pregnant and there was no going back to what we were. I had no desire. I just wanted to go on and make life work.

In July 2007 we were in court but it went no where.

In August 2007 we were court ordered to go to mediation. I thought we came to an agreement while we were in there. After we left we implemented the mediation agreement/letter. About a month later though we found out that there were issues with the letter and the will be ex would not allow it to be put into an order.

September 2007 through December 2007 were a nightmare. There were tons of problems with the holidays. We went to court a few times here and there. Lots of reasons why.

In January 2008 I was feeling very depressed and wondering how much longer I would possible deal with the turmoil my life held daily. We had been in this divorce for 12 months at that point and it felt as if we had gotten no where.

From February 2008 – April 2008 we had more issues. The will be ex was getting the middle monkey to school late. We had numerous court hearing for who knows what at this point. Finally were order in April to have to go to Parenting Time Coordination to try and come to an agreement on custody.

In May 2008 we had a couple meetings with the lady at friend of the court and it was determined that we needed to have a custody evaluation done. There was no compromising and she was pulling herself from our case.

In June and July 2008 more court hearings and more issues come up. We had moved into another school district. The will be ex agreed to the change of school (we transported the kids back and forth for 4 months after we moved).

In August 2008 we had a lot going on. Court hearing that ordered the will be ex and his lawyer to finally put the mediation agreement into a court order. We had a trial/settlement for everything other than custody. We started the custody evaluation.

In September 2008 I was charged with truancy because the middle monkey missed part of the first day of school. Following my lawyers orders and keeping him out until the judge had made a decision. He was able to change school districts. Then there was an accident at the end of the month. The will be ex never took him to a doctor and still to this day denies he got hurt. This was the reason start to the end of this big mess.

In October 2008 we were in court regarding the accident and the will be ex not following doctors orders.

In November 2008 we started to see a specialist and a big problem with the Thanksgiving holiday.

In December 2008 we continued to see the specialist and struggled with holidays.

In January 2009 I realized that we were on year two of this divorce. Also we got the custody evaluation with a recommendation for me to have sole physical and legal custody. We also met with the specialist and the will be ex got into it with her. The last things were we started PT for the middle monkey and he had a neurological evaluation.

In February 2009 we got the rejection/objection to the custody evaluation.

In March 2009 we went to court. Yet again the will be ex didn’t show up. We had a mutual restraining order placed upon us both. The official object to the custody evaluation was placed with the courts and it was only a matter of time before we were given a trial date.

In April 2009 we were in court yet again because the will be ex had to aquire yet another lawyer and they were objecting to the mutual restraining order.

In May 2009 we were given our date for the trial. We were granted 3 hours at the end of June. We were in court for something but I really don’t remember why.

In June 2009 it was the end of the school year. It was the 1st of many trial dates. It was the start of some a heated debate about what our visitation agreement was.

In July 2009 I had to call the police to get the will be ex to leave. We went on vacation and I was supposed to be held in contempt of court for not showing up for a hearing (while we were on vacation). We ended up in court because of a bunch of lies that were submitted to the court; which were proven to be lies. Plus the will be ex lost even more time with his son because of him taking me to court (which he yet again didn’t show up for).

In August 2009 we got another date for the next hearing in September. We also ended up in court for something but I don’t remember what it was.

In September 2009 we were in court 2 times in less than 5 days. We had the objection to the lost time and we had our trial (#2). Pretty much it was the will be ex on the stand the whole time. Talk about nerve wracking! I was pulling my hair out.

In October 2009 we didn’t go to court once. It was a nice change and we were told when our next date was in November. We had a good October.

In November 2009 we had to go to court for our trial again. We were there for #3. The will be ex was on the stand forever again and then they added another witness and then it was finally my turn. We also got notification for the next trial date – January.

We are going to be going to court for the 4th part of this trial 2 days after I filed for divorce 3 years ago!

3 years ago!!!!! Are you kidding me? 3 years of misery. This has been nuts. I just want it over. I am glad we are coming to an end. It has been a long 3 years.